Definition: Something in the past that cannot be controlled or undone, but must be accepted, forgiven, or forgotten.
— via Wiki
What are you waiting for?
You never seem to make it through the door
And who are you hiding from?
It ain’t no life to live like you’re on the run
Have I ever asked for much?
The only thing that I want is your love
If you’re gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don’t pretend that you don’t want me
Our love ain’t water under the bridge
It’s the one song I’ve been looping lately, which sort of summarizes my shitty arse relationships.
In their own heads, the following dialogues play this way—
Guy: Uh-huh, but I ain’t gonna say it. I smell trouble.
Gal: Ye bastard, you ain’t say it, huh? I ain’t say it either. Fuck off.
Guy: Told ye, woman. I wasn’t serious.
Gal: Always let the lady do the DTR (Define the Relationship) Talk. Fuck you. Ye ain’t gonna trick me to do that.
Guy: Let me be utterly honest with ye, woman. I’m just having too much fun right now. Can we just keep it at that?
Gal: Ye lowlife arsehole.
Guy: Ye started it. You wrestled me. Boy were you strong.
Gal: Ye kiddin’, eh? Comparing to ye, I’m literally a midget. Ye lying bastard. I’m glad us didn’t work.
When they finally meet, this is what actually happened —
Guy: Hey , how’s your week go?
Then either the guy or the gal comes up with an excuse and exits.
Truth is, I don’t even dig the guys that much. But in my head I want to prove something — that I’m worthy of love. If only, if only a guy falls for me. “I really like you.” Then I’ll be complete. (Sorry mate, not the Jerry Maguire ‘You complete me’ bullcrap.) I won’t be the elephant in the room. You see, I don’t even need anyone to say “I love you” (yet). It’s too heavy a word, I know. Lots of responsibilities and etc. And I know, Rome was not built in a day. But I do need to have something to start with, something to work on. Nothing, really? Nothing, again?
Let’s be clear here, I don’t want to be another love cynic to notice the torrential water under the bridge and then get cold feet to refuse crossing the bridge.
I’ll keep my faith. Because I have to.