Tired, but not exhausted

Maybe the cliché is true after all. There is a will, there is a way.

It’s been a long day. A little too long.

The brainstorming meeting at the Chinese director’s place was truly fruitful. The only downside was, I didn’t come home until after 11:30 yesterday.  Then I started working on the Podcast Fellowship project. I’ve promised myself to show up every day. So I had to, no matter how late.

I wanted to go to bed. But I have an early lecture the next morning at 9. I wanted to run through the notes a few times before I felt I could have a good handle on the things I was going to share.

I had insomnia. I didn’t fall asleep until after 2:30 am. It was just a little lecture for some junior high school kids from China. But it was also my first public keynote in a long time.

I dragged myself up again at 5:40. Meditated for 10 mins. And started working on the slides sequence. New ideas rushed towards me. I kept tweaking until 7:15 am. I had to leave in about an hour. I gotta get ready.

By the time I got to the Rolfe Hall at UCLA, it was 8:40. Still ahead of time. I got the props I asked the team to prepare. Then suggested we rearranged the tables and the chairs to get the normally reticent Chinese students.

My lecture to the Chinese students from Beijing was well-received. I felt a wave of acknowledgement that had abandoned me when I was so focused to be a writer. I think that was also why I started working on my podcast. I craved to be under the spotlight. I knew I captivated my Gen-Y audience who’s famous for their 8-seconds attention span. Most important, they seemed to be really listening and learning. It felt great.

Then the Chinese filmmaker couple picked me up. We drove far past San Gabriel to the law firm regarding my current visa situation, maybe what the lawyer proposed was my best and ideal choice. In a few weeks, I may need to make a decision.

After the Chinese couple sent their car to the dealer, we Lyfted back to UCLA. Them for their daughter’s summer camp presentation. I went to get my thermos I forgot in the classroom.

But there was one last stop. The bank. The couple needed me to be their interpreter. It was a simple case. But took a long time to get the details right. When they processed the last few steps, I deposited my lecture fee.

By the time we got to their place for dinner, I had eaten nothing for 18 hours. Probably my longest strike I could remember. Strangely, I feel alive. I come to know that I’m on the right path, even though the going gets tougher. Since October 31, 2016, the day my former landlady decided to break her promise and keep my rent and security deposit, I felt cursed. I was depressed. The chip on my shoulder was chipping away my soul. But today, today I started to feel light and fine after almost two years of tedious struggle, rebel without a cause.

Maybe the cliché is true after all. There is a will, there is a way.

 

Yours truly,
YZ

Author: Rock Bottom with YZ

YZ is a Shanghai-born LA-trained bilingual storyteller in various spheres.

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