The ‘No response’ response

It still bothers me.

  • Your feedback isn’t appreciated.
  • Your question isn’t addressed.
  • Your work isn’t validated.
  • Your kindness isn’t returned.

You try not to keep scores. But inside your head, you still do. And you know it.

Then, the same person comes to you for advice, for help, for support, for money or just your time…

What should you do? What would you do?

  • An eye for an eye?
  • Turn the other cheek?

And there is a third choice.

  • Give the person the ‘No response’ response? Let her taste her own medicine?

Harry Truman’s motto says, “The buck stops here.” It’s been the motto for some. But how many of us just pass the buck into the wilderness and get on with our life and only complain later when our own bucks get cast away?

Honestly, I can’t guarantee I would stop the buck every time. But I’ll always remember the people who do. And when they show up at my doorstep, I’ll never slam the door in their faces.


Be a ‘Fake Giver,’ someone who excels at managing up but never responds favors from her peers, as Adam Grant argues in his Give and Take book.

For me, I’ll try to remember those who respond instead of the others who give me the cold shoulders.

Life is too short.


Yours truly,


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