No worries

It’s a catchy phrase I learned years ago when I was an exchange student in the U.K. But I never really thought about what it meant literally until probably now. 

Truth is, according to my own Big Five Traits, I’m relatively high in neuroticism, which means I’m more prone to have mood swings. Even though I look like I move fast, I also worry a lot. 

There is a study on the older people at the end of their lives, what they wish they could have done differently. Almost all said that they wish they could worry less and do more. (Nike didn’t choose its Just Do It slogan for nothing.) After all, most of our worries never really came true.

I’ve been worrying if I’d land my new teaching gig. The audition lecture went well, I was told. But there were more to do before the final evaluation: a syllabus proposal and a meeting with the big boss. It feels like none of the things I do now I can get a hall pass and get fucking paid already.

“Do your best and let it go.” 
“No worries, mate.” 

A voice whispered in my ears. But I still worry. At least, I’m aware that I am.

Yours truly,
YZ