China has a counterpart of everything the world wants to sell her.
- Alibaba > Amazon (inc. Amazon Studio) + eBay;
- Baidu <<< ∞ Google (you see where my loyalty lies);
- Tencent >>> ∞ Snapchat + Instagram + FaceBook + PayPal:
- Xiaomi <?> Apple;
- Ximalaya FM #wtf? Podcast.
Let’s talk about Ximalaya FM for a moment.
I just created my own Ximalaya [pronounce: Himalaya] account. Uploaded a photo with YZ holding her passport. It’s how IoT is done in China these days, making sure you’re legit before you get to be read, heard, or seen.
So dude, if you say anything inappropriate, we know who you are, where you live and your cell phone number. No pressure, just wanna make sure you watch your mouth.
That is to say, we show you the box and want you to think inside. We’ll cut off the protruding tentacles if you dare try.
But that’s not my concern.
For my podcast, it’s interviews. And yet, when I select genre on Ximalaya, the best fit is actually “English.” Yep.
I clicked on the English section and see where my, quote and unquote, competition lies, they’re all about teaching English from grammar to American culture. The cover arts are in Chinese too.
What about the show description?
Here is what #RBYZ looks like in English:
Rock Bottom hits anybody at anytime and anywhere. The good news is, it discriminates no one. The bad news is, it’ll hit again. But the worst news is, nobody talks about it. Your host YZ bugs folks from all walks of life and zeros in on their Rock Bottoms. So we all gain some 20/20 before it’s hindsight.
In Chinese, it has to be one-sixth of the Twitter word limit (120 divided by 6) and let’s be catchy, shall we? Or at least, try.
That said, every Chinese word will carry the weight of some six English words, or more.
It’ll be something like this:
Shanghai-born bilingual screenwriter gurl (trying too hard?), chasing dream in LA, zero in on rock bottom, w/ creative souls around the globe.
Well, you get the idea…
Let’s see how my future Chinese fans would respond to my show. Soon I think I should record some Chinese intro to ease them into the program.
Gotta get Crazy Rich and find a PA like Andy Sachs.
And in my pitch-perfect Miranda Priestly impression: